Eat, Pray, Lust

Because I like to say something positive before saying anything negative, I'd like to compliment Elizabeth Gilbert on her beautiful writing style in the book Eat, Pray, Love. It is somehow lyrical and poetic, and punchy and contemporary at the same time. I enjoyed her story-telling prose very much, I appreciated her use of the eastern tradition of 108 prayers, and I especially took note of the overarching structure of her book, which is essentially the path of the dharma. It shows her deep understanding of the quest for enlightenment through a balance of living in the real world and dealing with it as it is, and trying to make the world a better place on a daily basis. That's why it is just so disappointing that she doesn't ever get to the end of her journey.

I certainly can't say that I am the most enlightened person on the planet, but I am willing to put my values and peace of mind up against the best of them. Nelson Mandela, bring it on... Bill Clinton, any day of the week, I'd even give Mother Teresa a run for her money just because I don't think she had enough balance in her life. And plus, she worked for a fairly corrupt organization that was structured such that she could never actually run it, and fully self-actualized people would fight that from within. Probably why she had a crisis of faith late in her career (read her autobiography). But Elizabeth Gilbert really tries very hard to become fully aware, fully self-actualized. She recognizes that she is not meant to have children, so she starts off at least somewhat self-aware. She also recognizes that she got married more because she thought she was supposed to (the reason most people get married, by the way), than because she had found a best friend and companion that she could grow with. So it was no surprise to me that when they grew apart, she needed to get out of the relationship. As we get older, more mature, and infinitely wiser, many of us find that we are not meant for the conventional lifestyles that we unconsciously chose because we saw everyone else making those choices. Taking desk jobs, buying homes and cars, getting married and having children... These are all societal "norms," but are by no means what everyone should do. It is unfortunate that our instincts and biophysical constitutions conspire to make us want to reproduce earlier rather than later in life. We humans would make much better parents in our 40's, 50's and 60's than our 20's, 30's and 40's. And many more of us would choose not to get married and have children for many very good reasons. And the majority of us would probably not suffer the tremendous pain of a gut-wrenching, mid-life crisis like Elizabeth Gilbert did. It is an unfortunate fact, however, that the vast majority of us do because we don't do the work that she did.

Ms. Gilbert goes on a year long journey to "find herself" and I again applaud her for the structure and thoughtfulness that she uses in setting out on her quest. She uses the path of the Buddha, a very good choice indeed when one is searching for enlightenment, of pleasure and ignorance of the realities of the world, then asceticism and total focus on the release from the ego. After this, if you have gone down the right path, you are supposed to find the "middle way." The middle way is the understanding of the temporary nature of human existence and the meaninglessness of anything except love of all existence; the self, the world around us such as it is, of all things in the universe. It is the recognition of the interconnectedness of all things and so one is compelled to make the best choices for the self and the world at large at every given moment. But I get the sense that Ms. Gilbert left India too early. I think she should have stayed at the Ashram for another month or two because, in Bali, she deviated from the path, and instead of finding love for the entirety of existence, she finds a guy she can bang without committment. Make no mistake... I get the fact that she goes to visit an old man very often and gains wisdom this way. Insight into the impermanance and transitory nature of life. I get that she finally started to give freely and without expectation of receiving anything in return, and without allowing her self to be taken advantage of. But she does not describe the love that she feels for all humanity in the last section of her book so much as she describes her sexual escapades with her new-found, South American boy-toy.

So, hear me Elizabeth Gilbert... I am looking forward to reading your new book Committed because I love your writing. But I am hoping that you have also committed yourself to completing your journey. Or, really, since no one's journey is ever complete, that you start back down the path. It is such a beautiful walk! Then maybe you can re-write the Love section of your book so that it has the most satisfying ending.